Skip to main content

Over the weekend, I heard a heartwarming story about how a daughter in her late 30s reconciled with her father.

They had a longstanding, tenuous relationship filled with arguments and hurtful words. What changed was when she got into a relationship where both the guy and she were not ready. They eventually broke up after a brief dating period, and she was highly distraught after having committed herself deeply.

Coming to my wife and me for comfort, we counselled her to reconcile with her father. She didn’t understand the advice and thought we would have something to say about the relationship. In good faith, she went ahead and had a heart-to-heart talk with her Dad. Explaining that she thought it would please him and take away his worry by getting married soon, she realised she was rushing into a relationship with a guy who was not necessarily ready for one. Her father softened, and they had the most intimate chat in years. For the first time she could remember, he apologised to her. Although her father did not say what the apology was for, it meant the world.

They now begin a new journey of bonding and spending quality time with each other sans angry words.

Of late, the difference between loving and bonding with someone has been on my mind. The two are not the same. I personally do not see my father much, as I have been living on my own for over 20 years now. As much as I love my father, I can’t say that I have bonded with him much. He will be celebrating his 70th birthday very soon, and even though I want to throw him a nice celebration, I’m ashamed to confess that I know very few of his favourite dishes. The blessing is that for the past several years, I have made an effort to bond with him. I’ve become mindful and intentional in creating time together, opportunities to know him better, and for him to understand me too. This bond has made many beautiful memories in recent years, and I am grateful to God for this opportunity.

Similarly, as a Christian, I have started making it a priority to bond with God. We often say we love God; we worship Him and many nice things. But can we say we have a bond with our Heavenly Father? More often than not, I find myself making requests to God or looking for a good aural experience during worship services. To live out this key relationship point in this period, I have decided to make an effort to bond with God deliberately. In doing so, I want to learn how to bond with my family and friends and reflect on God’s heart for His people. As a result, I’ve thought through some key handles on how I can do this and would love to share them here.

5 Ways I Bond with God

  1. Share a meal with Him, i.e. Communion
  2. Walk through my pain with Him
  3. Have intimate and vulnerable conversations and listen
  4. Create a shared space with Him
  5. Do something nice for Him

May it be a challenge and a blessing to you. I pray that families become whole and form a solid bedrock of our society.

Till the next piece.